Breaking Fear: How You Can Use Fear Against Itself To Gain Courage, Take Action, and Live the Life You’ve Always Wanted
Every person is born to share their greatness. Far too often, however, this little sneaky devil called “fear” gets in the way. Fear cripples. Fear steals. Fear lies. It’s the worst epidemic of our time, and it kills more souls than all of the world’s wars combined. But the worst part is, it knows how to do it ever so slowly, ever so gently.
What can you do about it? How can you beat fear? Today, I’m going to share a nonconventional way to winning fear. It’s not just about positivity. It might feel uncomfortable. It might seem unusual. But at the end of the day, I know you’re looking for results. What do you have to lose?
FEAR’S GREATEST GOAL
I mentioned already the evils of fear—it cripples, it steals, it lies. But do you know the one thing fear is totally content with? Keeping you stuck. That’s its goal. Fear freezes. If all fear did was keep you from moving, it would laugh at you the rest of your life. The key is finding a way to get “un-stuck.” To “un-freeze.” To move.
FEAR’S FEAR
Instead of trying to remove the fear, to wish it away with positive thinking, to pretend it doesn’t exist, or even act in spite of fear (and potentially shit your pants)—try this: find a fear that’s BIGGER and MEANER than the fear you currently have. Yes, recognize the fear that comes when you think about taking a certain action. But also uncover the fear that would happen if you didn’t take action.
MY OWN FEAR STORY
Let me explain. I was born with the entrepreneur fire in my belly. I was a horrible employee. It’s not that I didn’t work my ass off, but I had to do it my way (even if that meant bending/breaking the established rules). I had the dream of working for myself. Being an entrepreneur. But, I had one big problem. Being an employee meant security. I had a MASSIVE fear of quitting my employee job. I feared not having the stability that a 9-5 brought me.
FORMS OF FEAR
My fear was uncertainty. I didn’t know what would happen if I worked for myself. My fear was around finances. What if I didn’t make enough money? My fear was around loneliness. What if I had to work by myself for a while? My fear was around self-sabotage, or lack of self-confidence. What if I don’t know enough or wasn’t “good” enough to start my own thing?
THE ONE THING WORSE THAN MY CURRENT FEAR
With fears this large, it’s no wonder many of us stay stuck. How do you get unstuck? I was told for years that I needed to have a big purpose—something positive that will pull me to the goal and eat away the negative. All of that is useful. It made me get closer and closer to living the life I wanted to live. And it helped me feel better about myself to make it happen…but it’s not complete. I just couldn’t pull the trigger. That is, I couldn’t pull the trigger until I came across the one thing that changed everything—a bigger fear.
THE BIGGER FEAR
I sat and thought what life would look like if I didn’t pursue what I wanted. How would I view myself in, say, 10 years if I didn’t take a risk? What if I didn’t take a chance?
Instead of feeling good, a new kind of fear started to settle in. A heavier fear. I started to feel some things that are some of the worst fears of all. I feared mediocrity. I feared feeling suffocated. Or worse—I feared that my white-hot desire for greatness would actually dim or die. I hated the experience. But is was that fear, the bigger fear, that swallowed the smaller fears. I quit my job. I started working for myself. I took the required action.
THE BIGGER FEAR IN ACTION
Recently I was at an event where Robert Herjavec from Shark Tank was the keynote. I’ve always wanted to personally meet Robert. After his speech I found myself out of my seat, and peaking backstage—totally against the rules. But I was too chicken to actually walk back there for fear of getting into trouble. As I turned to head back to my seat, a split second of fear came over my mind. The bigger fear. When is the next time I’m going to have a chance to see Robert Herjavec? I feared the massive regret I would feel if I didn’t just do it. At least try. I would rather try and get turned away, than feel the regret of not trying at all. So I walked back-stage like I belonged there, said hello to Robert, and even got a picture.
BEATING FEAR AT ITS OWN GAME
Whatever it is that you know you need to do—whatever action it is you need to take—just remember that you miss every shot you don’t take. Whether it’s applying for your dream job, or asking the girl out—just remember that NOT asking and NOT having the chance is far worse than just doing it. The discomfort you may experience from the potential rejection is better than the regret you’ll have for not even trying.
When the fear of taking action freezes you, find a bigger fear that comes from inaction. Win fear by beating it at it’s own game, Get doing what you know you were born to do. The rest of us are counting on it.